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Good Boss, Bad Boss: 20 Bad Habits Leaders Should
Stop Doing Now
“We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We
don’t spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half
the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They
need to learn what to stop.”
—Management expert Peter Drucker, as quoted by Marshall
Goldsmith in
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, 2007
Almost all of us delude ourselves about
our workplace achievements, status and contributions. This
isn’t
necessarily a bad thing, but it can certainly mislead us when
we are told we need to change.
It can be challenging for high-level
executives to improve their interpersonal skills. We
tend to believe the habits that have helped us rack up achievements
in the past will continue to foster success in the future. But
as the title of his recent book asserts, What Got You Here Won’t
Get You There, according to executive coach Marshall Goldsmith.
The more frequently you are promoted
to higher levels of executive responsibility, the more important
your interpersonal relationship skills are to your success—and
the more challenging it is to change bad habits.
It’s natural for successful people to believe that what
contributed to their past accomplishments will continue to work
for them. They also assume that
they can—and will—succeed,
no matter what. “Just give me a goal, and let the games begin!” they
think to themselves.
But when it comes to changing the way we interact with our peers
and direct reports, we often fail to recognize the steps required
for ongoing results. Part of this stems from healthy denial, while
part may be sheer ignorance. Only when confronted with performance
or promotional issues do we begin to open our minds to change.
This usually triggers emotional hot buttons of self-interest.
Four Hot Buttons of Change
Four common values motivate people to change:
1. Money
2. Power
3. Status
4. Popularity
These are the standard payoffs for success. Having achieved many
of these goals, high-level executives focus on leaving a legacy,
becoming an inspired role model or creating a great company as
their motivation to change. But the hot buttons of self-interest
remain embedded.
Discovering What’s Wrong
Identifying the bad leadership habits
you’ve accumulated
over your career is a task that requires astute investigation,
usually through a 360-degree assessment and interviews. When gathering
and giving feedback, the interviewer must be sensitive, providing
reassurances of confidentiality. Usually, an experienced executive
coach will deliver such feedback in a way that prevents you from
becoming defensive. This allows you to hear it without taking a
huge ego hit.
Ask anyone who works about bosses,
and you’ll hear ready
recollections of the two types they’ve worked for: the ones
they’ve loved and the ones they couldn’t wait to escape.
When asked for a list of defining qualities, most people identify
the following attributes:(1)
| Good
Boss |
Bad
Boss |
| Great
listener |
Blank
wall |
| Encourager |
Doubter |
| Communicator |
Secretive |
| Courageous |
Intimidating |
| Sense
of humor |
Bad
temper |
| Shows
empathy |
Self-centered |
| Decisive |
Indecisive |
| Takes
responsibility |
Blames |
| Humble |
Arrogant |
| Shares
authority |
Mistrusts |
According to Social Intelligence author Daniel Goleman, work groups
in dozens of countries, across all professions, will produce similar
lists. The best bosses are those who are trustworthy, empathic
and who connect with us. They make us feel calm, appreciated and
inspired.
The worst bosses are distant, difficult and arrogant. They make
us feel uneasy, at best, and resentful, at worst.
Understanding the defining qualities
of bad bosses doesn’t
really explain how their subordinates developed their perceptions.
It often takes several faulty interactions to establish a perception.
It may be glaringly obvious that a boss is arrogant; more often,
however, impressions build up over time, based on unintended and
misaligned interactions.
Habits That Hold You Back
Before we can discuss how to deal with counterproductive behaviors,
we must identify the most common problem areas. This special breed
of flaws centers on how we interact with other people.
Please note: We’re not talking about deficiencies in skill
or intelligence. By the time you
are promoted to a high level of responsibility in your organization,
you’ve already demonstrated
sufficient competencies and office smarts.
The most common bad leadership habits
aren’t personality
flaws, either—although it may sometimes appear so. Remedying
them doesn’t require medication or therapy.
What we are really dealing with here
are challenges in interpersonal behavior—the egregious
annoyances that make the workplace substantially more noxious
than necessary. These faults do not occur in isolation; they
involve one person interacting with another.
Goldsmith compiled the following list
of negative habits after years of working with top executives
in Fortune 500 companies.2 Some
of the qualities cited are subtle, while others are glaringly
obvious. Often, they may not appear to be harmful on the surface;
in reality, they’re bona
fide detriments.
| 1 |
Winning
too much. The need to win at
all costs and in all situations—when
it matters and even when it doesn’t, when it’s
totally beside the point. |
| 2 |
Adding
too much value. The overwhelming desire to add our two cents
to every discussion. |
| 3 |
Passing
judgment. The need to rate others and impose our standards
on them. |
| 4 |
Making
destructive comments. The needless sarcasm and cutting remarks
that we think make us sound sharp and witty. |
| 5 |
Starting
with “no,” “but” or “however.” The
overuse of these negative qualifiers, which secretly convey
to everyone, “I’m right. You’re wrong.” |
| 6 |
Telling
the world how smart we are. The
need to show people we’re
smarter than they think we are. |
| 7 |
Speaking
when angry. Using emotional volatility as a management tool. |
| 8 |
Negativity
(“Let me explain why that won’t work.”).
The need to share our negative
thoughts, even when we haven’t
been asked to do so. |
| 9 |
Withholding
information. The refusal to share information so we can maintain
an advantage over others. |
| 10 |
Failing
to give proper recognition. The inability to praise and reward. |
| 11 |
Claiming
credit we do not deserve. The most annoying way to overestimate
our contribution to any success. |
| 12 |
Making
excuses. The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a
permanent fixture so people will excuse us for it. |
| 13 |
Clinging
to the past. The need to deflect blame away from ourselves
and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming
everyone else. |
| 14 |
Playing
favorites. Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly. |
| 15 |
Refusing
to express regret. The inability
to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong
or recognize how our actions affect others. |
| 16 |
Not
listening. The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for
our colleagues. |
| 17 |
Failing
to express gratitude. The most basic form of bad manners. |
| 18 |
Punishing
the messenger. The misguided need to attack the innocent who,
usually, are only trying to help us. |
| 19 |
Passing
the buck. The need to blame everyone but ourselves. |
| 20 |
An
excessive need to be “me.” Exalting our faults
as virtues, simply because they embody who we are. |
This is a scary group of bad behaviors, according to Goldsmith.
Luckily, most people exhibit only one or two simultaneously.
The other good news?
These bad habits are easy to break.
The cure for failing to express
gratitude is remembering to say “thank you.” For not
apologizing, it’s learning to say, “I’m sorry.
I’ll do better next time.” For punishing the messenger,
it’s imagining how you would want to be treated under similar
circumstances. For not listening, it’s keeping your mouth
shut and your ears open.
Making such changes is not difficult. Most people lose sight of
the many daily opportunities to correct these behaviors.
Information Compulsion
Study these 20 bad habits, and you’ll see that half are
rooted in information compulsion. Most
of us have an overwhelming need to tell others something they don’t know, even when
it’s not in their best interest. When we add value, pass
judgment, announce that we “already knew that” or explain “why
that won’t work,” we are compulsively sharing information.
Likewise, when we fail to give recognition,
claim credit we don’t
deserve, refuse to apologize or neglect to express our gratitude,
we are withholding information. Sharing and withholding information
are two sides of the same coin.
Emotions
Other bad habits are rooted in emotion, causing a different kind
of compulsion. When we get angry, play favorites or punish the
messenger, we are succumbing to emotion.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing or withholding information
or emotion. In fact, it’s often necessary to withhold them.
It’s therefore vital to consider whether information-sharing
is appropriate.
Appropriate information encompasses anything that unequivocally
helps another person. Communication becomes inappropriate when
we go too far or risk hurting someone. When sharing information
or emotion, ask yourself: Is this appropriate? How much should
I share? These two questions serve as the guidelines for anything
you do or say.
How to Change a Bad Habit
If you recognize yourself on the list
of 20 bad habits, you can do something about it. Fortunately,
it’s easier to stop doing
something than to undergo a major personality transformation.
But the road to change is paved with
difficulties. It’s
hard to let go of firmly ingrained behaviors. Furthermore, even
though you may make some progress, it’s challenging to change
the perceptions of others who have become so used to your bad behaviors
that they may not even notice your efforts to improve for quite
a long time.
One way to facilitate on-the-job change is to ask for help from
a select group of peers. Here are some additional guidelines.
| 1 |
Get
good information about what needs to change. A 360-degree feedback
assessment is usually an effective means of determining how
others perceive you. A qualified, experienced executive coach
can help you obtain accurate feedback from your peers, bosses
and direct reports. |
| 2 |
Once
you’ve identified a bad habit you would like to change,
work with your coach to implement a plan of action. Get involved
with a small group of colleagues with whom you can work to
make improvements. |
| 3 |
Apologize
to people for your behavior, ask them to let go of the past,
and tell them you are going to stop engaging in the bad habit.
Ask them to let you know how you are doing, and when you fail
or succeed. |
| 4 |
Listen
to their input, and thank them for helping you. Arrange follow-ups
with them after a predetermined time interval. |
References
1. Goleman, D. 2006. Social Intelligence. Bantam, NY.
2. Goldsmith,
M. 2007. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There:
How Successful People Become Even More Successful! Hyperion, NY.
Working
Resources is a Leadership Consulting, Training and Executive Coaching
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Dr. Maynard Brusman
Consulting Psychologist and Executive Coach
Trusted Advisor to Senior Leadership Teams
Subscribe to Working Resources FREE E-mail Newsletter.
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